A Day in the Life

It only gets harder...

2009-03-01T15:40:00.004-05:00

Just when I thought I couldn't handle any more stress my husband comes home and tells me he's getting laid off as of March 19th. I am just running with the hope that it will all work itself out.

Anyway, aside from that miserable news everything else here is going really well. Ryan tried out for the school soccer team. I was pretty nervous for him when he came home the 1st day and said over 40 kids were trying out for 18 spots. Especially since he hasn't played in almost a year and a half but he made the team!!! I am so proud of him. He was also invited to join the junior National Honor Society!! and the other big news regarding Ryan is he became a teenager on the 17th and unforunately has started acting like one also.

Ashlyn is still dancing, she had a competition yesterday and they got 1st place again!! This time they were the only 6-7 yr olds so they ended up in the same division as the 8-10 yr olds from our own studio. So we beat them which the girls thought was awesome. They have their last competition in 2 weeks. Hopefully they will do well.

I am almost done with my co-op at the elementary school. that will be done by the end of March. Then I will just have to finish my classes which end the 1st week of May. It is so nice to be able to see the end of this journey.

The countdown begins...

2008-12-27T02:20:00.003-05:00

wow, it's been a while. Things here are going good. let's see since last time Ashlyn's dance group got 1st place at their competition!! Ryan did not play basketball and I have only 1 semester left till graduation!!

Got my grades last week and I got all A's again!! GO ME!! Last days of classes is May 8th and Graduation is May 15th so only 4 1/2 months left! WOO HOO!! This last semester will be crazy again though. i have to go to classes 4 days a week and find time to squeeze in 160 hours at the elementary school by May. Plus work and dance and soccer and the house and that whole being a mom job. I THINK I CAN.. I THINK I CAN.. I THINK I CAN..

just a few more weeks

2008-11-12T03:38:00.004-05:00

hey there, things have been crazy around here lately, Ashlyn's 1st dance competition this year is next weekend. Not sure if the group is really ready, they did not have as much time to prepare for this. Last year their 1st competition wasn't until March so I think this one will be interesting. They have been working so hard though. They are dancing to "Wash that Man Right Out of My Hair" It is really cute. Hope they do well.

Ryan is doing well, trying to decide if he wants to play basketball this year. He seems to be growing out of this whole sports thing and just wants to hang out with his friends. I still can't believe he will be 13 in just 3 months. What happened to my baby??

The kids just got their report cards last week and they both did awesome. Ashlyn got A-B honor roll and Ryan just missed it. He got all A's and a C in Math. Next time. School is going well for me too. I only have 4 1/2 weeks till this semester is over and then only 1 more to go!! WOOHOO!!

Everything else is good, I think we are all settling in to Duane's new job. It is still weird not having him around at night, and it is hard having to deal with the kids all the time by myself, but after a few rough months I think the kids have realized I mean business. At 1st they tried to get away with alot but I've had to get a little tough and now things are going much better. Ashlyn still misses her dad alot but he walks her to school now so they have their time and it is helping too. He is much happier when he is here, so it is all for the best.

It's Another Girl!!!

2008-10-19T19:19:00.002-04:00

Well, I am an aunt once again!! My brother Bob and his wife Margaret had a little girl today. Well, she is actually a pretty big girl 9lbs 13oz. Her name is Megan Ann!! She is sooo beautiful though I can't wait to meet her. Unfortunately she is in New Jersey so I'll have to wait till Thanksgiving to meet her. The poor boys are so outnumbered. With a total count of 13 cousins - we have 10 girls and 3 boys. Hopefully the next one to come will be a boy!!

Other than that, nothing much is going on here. Same old stuff, school, work, dance, clean that's pretty much how my life runs. I have figured out that I now have less than 7 months till graduation!! Kids are doing well,Duane is great,just trying to get ready for christmas now.

Another School Year Begins

2008-09-03T01:09:00.004-04:00

Wow, can't believe it has been so long since I posted here. Let's see. The kids are home!! It was a very long summer and I never thought it would end but we made it. The kids had a blast on their vacations and didn't even want to come home.

My brother got married at the end of July so we all met up in NJ for the wedding. All the kids were in the wedding(16 kids total).It was a great weekend, got to see all my brothers and sister, got to visit with my bestest friend from high school. Who BTW just had a little baby girl last Thursday!! Welcome Olivia!! Anyway, thought I would get to take my kids home then, but they both insisted on going back to my sister's house for a little longer. I am glad though that they had such a good time.

Now, we are all back in school, Ryan started the 7th grade last week and Ashlyn is now a 2nd grader. I am in the home stretch!! Only 2 more semesters to go, May cannot get here fast enough for me. Duane also started a new job 2 weeks ago. That has been a difficult change since he is now working 2nd shift. Ashlyn is especially having a hard time not having Daddy around. But it is still new and we will figure it out.

Other than school Ashlyn is still dancing. She is in company again this year so we seem to be spending more and more time at the dance studio. Her 1st competition is in November this year, so they are pushing to have the routine ready. Ryan is taking the fall off (thank goodness), he is planning on trying out for basketball in the winter but that's about it for him these days.

I never thought I would say this but - Here's to hoping this school year flies by - I am so ready for May!!!

Home Alone

2008-07-12T18:59:00.002-04:00

Well the kids are both gone and it is unbelieveably quiet around here. Ryan has been gone for a month now. He is in upstate NY with his grandparents and Ashlyn is in Maryland at my sister's house. She has been there a week now. It is so weird to be alone w/ Duane. That hasn't happened in 12 1/2 yrs :) Although I am enjoying the alone time with him, I do so desperatey miss my kids. Good news is I will get to see them both sooner than expected!! Turns out that Big Brother Bob has decided to get married on July 26th so we are all meeting in NJ for that and I get my babies back!!

Other than that not much is going on here. I went up and met my newest neice last weekend, she is so beautiful and such a good baby. ALMOST makes me want another of my own.

That's pretty much it for me. Only 3 more weeks till I get a break from school!!

It's A Girl!

2008-06-20T03:50:00.002-04:00

Not too much going on around here these days. My beautiful new niece was born on Monday. Her name is Avery Marie. I can't wait to go see her. Unfortunately I have to wait till 4th of July weekend before I have any time off to go up there.

Ryan has been gone for a week now. My father-in-law came down last week and took Ryan back to New York with him. I miss him so much already and just want him to come home. But he is having a great time with his grandpa so I guess it's all good. Time for me to stop being selfish and let him grow up. When I go see Avery, Ashlyn is going to stay in Maryland with my sister for a month so it's going to be pretty quiet around here.

Other than that not much else is going on over here. School is going good. I am starting to hate going there every day though. Some days I really need a break from it but if I want to graduate in May I have to keep going. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel so I can't stop now.

Chaos Reigns Again

2008-05-22T23:22:00.002-04:00

Well it's that time of year again. All the end of school activities, Ryan's school play next weekend, Ashlyn's dance recitial 3 days later, plus I started new classes at the college this week. I have to take summer classes this year which really stinks. But they only offer these 2 classes over the summer so if I want to graduate next May I have to do it. Unfortunately it will cause great problems this summer with the kids and babysitters. So both my babies are going away this summer. Can anyone see the huge mental breakdown already? Ryan will once again go to upstate NY to visit with my in-laws and Ashlyn will be spending the whole month of July at my sister's in Delaware. Hoepfully it will go by fast. I am already stressing about not having either one of them at home. That's pretty much all that's going on here I'll try and get back next week and post pictures of the play and the recital.

Happy Day!!

2008-05-07T23:32:00.003-04:00

I took my last 2 exams for this semester today!! Got 100's on both of them!! Now I have 2 weeks off!! Well that's about the highlights of life over here. Don't have my final grades in yet. But if my calculations are right I believe I got A's in all 5 of my classes this semester which is way cool. Other than that I am going to NJ with my mom this weekend. A friend of the family is getting married on Saturday, but my favorite part is I get to visit my bestest friend Stacey. I haven't seen her in almost 4 years so I am pretty excited. Unfortunately we will only have the afternoon to spend together. i wish i could stay longer but I must get back to Duane and the kids. Hopefully I get a chance to go up there in August after summer classes are over.

Hey Strangers!!

2008-04-29T16:24:00.002-04:00

Wow it really has been a long time since I last posted. Although nothing really interesting has happened since i was last here. Ashlyn is done with her dance competitions. She turned 7 last week. I can't believe how fast she is growing up. She had her 1st slumber party, there were 9 girls and they had a blast. I was a little nervous but they all got along great and the night went smoothly.

Ryan has been working hard learning his part for the play but nothing else really going on with him.

I am almost done with this semester at school. we finish up classes this week and my last exam is next wednesday!!! Unfortunately i have to go to school this summer so i only get a 10 day break before classes start again.

we are working on plans for the summer. Ryan wants to go spend time in NY again at my in-laws and because of my school and sitter problems with Ashlyn she will be spending July in Delaware with my sister :( Hopefully this summer will go by fast because i don't know how well i will function without my babies. The panic is already beginning to set in when i think about it and it's still months away.

Busy, Busy

2008-03-18T23:43:00.003-04:00

Wow, it has been a couple of crazy weeks here. The last 2 weekends Ashlyn had her first 2 dance competitions. I was hoping to post some pictures but keep forgetting to bring my camera card to work with me. Anyway, Ashlyn has 2 routines she does for competition. One is a tap routine with 3 other 6yr olds. They have done so awesome. They got 1st place for their division at both competitions!!! The 2nd routine is a production number with all 30 something girls from the company. At the 1st competition they got 2nd place but unfortunately didn't place at all in the 2nd competition, but they still did awesome. I am so proud of her. The girls weren't doing so well during practices so I was a bit worried, but the were so awesome on that stage. We have one more competition left but that's not till the 1st weekend in April.

Ryan's big news is he tried out for the spring play at his school. They are doing Alice in Wonderland and he wanted to be the Cheshire Cat. He has never done anything like this before so I was worried he might not get any part just chorus or an extra since their are many other kids who have been in plays before. But he got the news today that he did get the part of Cheshire Cat!! There are actually 3 cats and he is cat #1. I am so proud of him too!!

Other than that school is going well, I SHOULD be done at the elementary school on April 10th!! So then I will only have classes at the college. That will free up quite a bit of time for me and hopefully let me get some resembelance of order back into my life. I have had no time to do anything lately. Spring break starts on Thursday and I am so looking forward to a week without school. It's so unlike me to say this but I can't wait to have time to clean my house. It literally looks like several bombs exploded in there.

Guess that's it for now. I'll try and get those dance pictures up soon :)

Where Has All the Time Gone??

2008-02-27T02:56:00.003-05:00

Wow, I can't believe February is almost over. Things here have been really good. Really busy but good. I am halfway done with my co-op so only about 76 more hours left at the elementary school!! My classes at the college are going really well. I start a new class next week, hopefully that won't add too much extra work.

It seems if I am not at school or work I am at the dance studio with Ashlyn. They have been having alot of extra practices. Their 1st competition is on the 8th of March. She is so excited, I hope they do well, they have all been working so hard.

Ryan turned 12 on the 17th. He went to his 1st school dance that weekend. He says he even asked a girl to dance and she said yes. I am so not ready for this part of being a mom. I really wish he would stay my little boy.

Who Am I??

2008-02-01T04:42:00.000-05:00

one of my instructors wanted us to describe ourselves and our feelings on life at the moment/ things we've learned as we've grown. These are just a few things I found. Thought I'd share :)

MyHotComments

MyHotComments

MyHotComments

MyHotComments

I'm Back!!

2008-01-26T21:40:00.000-05:00

wow, i can't believe it has been an entire month since I've posted here. Sad to say things have been really busy here but at the same time nothing really exciting to tell you about. I started a new semester at school, which includes doing co-op at the local elementary school, so basically that means I am not home much anymore at all during the day. It is kind of fun being at the school though. I am working with a 1st grade class and they are pretty good kids. I love the teacher in there too. She is really nice.

Ashlyn's dance is going well, they have about 5 weeks before their 1st competition so we are spending alot of time at the dance studio these days. And Ryan is ready for spring soccer to start. luckily we still have a few months till that starts.

Today Duane and Ryan went to a car show so I took Ashlyn ice skating for the 1st time. Unfortunately I don't have any pictures though. I was afraid to bring my camera bacause it has been 15 yrs since I skated and I wasn't sure how well I would do. Didn't want to smash the camera :)

I realized today that in 3 weeks my baby will be 12yrs old. I mentioned this and he quickly pointed out that in 55 weeks he will be 13. Talk about wanting to cry. I still cannot believe how big he has gotten. They definitely grow up way too fast.

Well, that's pretty much it around here. Life is busy but good.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

2007-12-26T01:08:00.000-05:00

Well, I guess it is actually the day after right now, but I hope you all had a great Christmas!!

The Countdown Begins!

2007-12-20T04:45:00.000-05:00

Only 5 more days left till Christmas!! I am actually almost ready, which is surprising to me since as of last weekend I hadn't done anyhting yet but pick up a few presents. But this week I pushed and I think I have all the presents I need, just have to wrap them, make some cookies and Ashlyn asked yesterday when we were going to see Santa :( OOPS forgot all about that. So we will head to the mall today or tomorrow and have a talk with the big guy.

Other than that - semester grdaes are in!! I did really well I think, considering I have a million other things to do besides study.

I got an :

A in Mathematical Models
A in Intro to Philosophy
A in Child Developmet I
A in Reading and Writing Methods
B in Intro to Early Childhood Education

Well I get 2 weeks off and then things will get worse. 6 classes next semester and 1 of them is co-op so that means I need to find a minmum of 12 hrs a week to spend at the elementary school plus go to class every day. Should definitely be interesting. Hopefully May will get here quickly :)

I probably won't get back here before Tuesday so I hope you all have a MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Couldn't Say It Better Myself

2007-12-14T07:54:00.000-05:00

Saw this and just had to post it. If you click on the words it will get bigger and you can read it better :)

That Christmas Spirit??

2007-12-10T17:53:00.000-05:00

Been having a hard time trying to find mine this year. With school & work and just trying to keep everything running I wasn't getting anything done and it was really bothering me since I am usually ready by the beginning of December. I never even got the kids pictures taken this year which is the 1st time that hasn't happened since Ryan was born. But after a huge meltdown on Saturday and a good cry I seem to be moving forward.

Today we managed to decorate both trees, the house and i even got all my Christmas cards done and ready to mail. Now just a lot of wrapping and a few more gifts to buy and I am ready.

So today the Christmas spirit returns! HO!HO!HO!

only 7 more....

2007-12-04T07:56:00.000-05:00

classess and I am done with this semsester!!! 3 more days this week and then 4 next week and then I am off till Janusary 7th. You have no idea how excited I am about this. School has been alot of fun and I really am enjoying it most of the time, I have made several new friends and the classes aren't all that bad but I am just ready for a break. cool part is I get a whole week home without the kids so I can get a few last minute things done without them watching. I do miss having that quiet time alone at home.

A Blast From the Past

2007-11-28T23:20:00.000-05:00

So today was pretty cool, I get home from school and check my e-mail and there is one from Michael Z... I couldn't believe it I hadn't heard that name in years. He is my very 1st love. We dated for almost 2yrs in high school I haven't talked to him in over 15yrs. It was really nice to hear from him though. He actually works as a financial manager for Tiffany's in NY. Duane says I should go find him :)

The strangest part is just last night a friend and I were talking and I had mentioned that there was something I had only done once in my lifetime and Michael happened to be there for that event so I momentarily thought about him last night then this morning I get the e-mail. It was just too wierd but very cool. He was a very important part of my life and will always be someone special to me so it's great to hear that he is doing well.

Good Day Sunshine!!

2007-11-27T17:02:00.001-05:00

Today was a great day. Got some good sleep last night, then on my way to school this mornign Duane called me to tell me that he would be working at my school today. I NEVER get to see him during the day so it was really nice to go get a kiss in between my classes and before I headed home. I also learned that I got a 92 on my test yesterday which is AWESOME!! I have been having a hard time figuring out that teacher. Now that the semester is almost over I think I got it :) After school I had lunch with a friend that I hadn't seen in a while which was really nice too. I do need to start making more time for myself.
Unfortunately after that I had to head home and deal with my dirty house and do some laundry and homework but I haven't had a really great day in a really long time so I am happy today and hopefully tomorrow will be good too :)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

2007-11-24T11:54:00.000-05:00

Okay I'm a few days late but I hope you all had a great one. I DID!! We spent the week at my mom's house. We headed there tues night. All of my brother's & sister (there are 7 of us)and their families come too and we spend the week together. Only week all year that we are all in the same place so it is alot of fun. Unfortunately it is alot of late nights and early mornings but well worth to spend time with them all. Big news this year is my sister is going to have a baby in June!! I am so excited. I love babies and cant wait to meet little Spike ( that is what I am calling him or her :) )

Now we are home and the festivities are over. I am exhausted and getting ready to head in for a nap. But I already can't wait till next year.

Karma??

2007-11-17T20:14:00.000-05:00

Do you believe??

yIntoHeaven.com - Online Karma Test Click Here!
Jennifer, Your Karmic Alignment is: Optimistic!

Score: 6 In general, you tend to create poitive actions. You have a caring personality which gives you positive Karma. Every now and then you slip up and harvest negative Karma. But, all in all, you follow lines similar to the Monks on their way to enlightenment.

NC ZOO

2007-11-13T23:55:00.000-05:00

today Ryan's class went on a field trip to the NC ZOO. Ashlyn had never been so I let her take a day off school and come with us :) We had such a fabulous time. The weather was great and the boys I had with me were pretty good too. The zoo has 2 ends - 1 for North american animals and 1 for African animals. I most definitely love the African side better. My favorite is the giraffes and Ashlyn absolutely fell in love with them too. I literally had to drag her away from them crying and promise her I would frame one of the pics I took for her so she could see them whenever she wanted. Here's my pics. ENJOY!!

giraffe:

mama lion & 3 sleeping cubs:

zebra:

elephants:

The zoo is 5 miles long - here is Ryan being a great big brother :)

rhinocerous:

grizzly bear:

sea lions:

cougar:

Quiet Times

2007-11-06T18:22:00.000-05:00

Not much is going on here this week, Ashlyn is done with soccer and Ryan doesn't play again until Saturday so it's a week off for us. Nice and quiet around here but it really is just the calm before the storm. It is only 16 days until Thanksgiving (which is the BIG holiday in our family) all my brothers & my sister come in for this and we all spend the week together. It is alot of chaos and craziness but it really is fun all being together again like that. I really am ready for the break too. Just have to "Christmas" shop and help clean mom's house before they all get here.

Other than that, kids got their report cards this week. Ashlyn is doing awesome, I am so proud of her if only she can learn to keep her mouth shut in class. Although once again this poor kid was already getting way too much homework in my opinion and now that it is the 2nd nine weeks they decided to give her more. She cried today when I told her she would now have to add writing sentences to her spelling work for the week. But she is a trooper and did it like a good girl. Ryan's report card was decent. he passed everything but not really up to Ryan standards, but this was really expected because of the problems he was having late in the semester. I am still proud of him, it is hard adjusting to a new school and more responsibility.

Happy Halloween!!

2007-10-31T23:45:00.000-04:00

just wanted to share some trick-or-treating pictures with you. We had a great time this year. We must have looked like a mob walking down the street there were 13 of us plus a german shepherd :) But it was really alot of fun.

Ryan & Ashlyn:

From right to left - Alexis, Ryan, Ashlyn, Cole, Alyssa, Kyle & that's Pound in front

Jay & Bob:

Alyssa, Stefan & Alexis:

Ashlyn:

Ryan & Cole:

Catch Up

2007-10-25T00:20:00.000-04:00

okay, i'm just sitting here at work bored out of my mind. I probably should be doing my philosophy homework, but I am a huge procrastinator and work best under pressure. So instead of my homework I am just going to catch you up what's going on in my world.

School - I can't believe how well it is going. I am getting 4 A's and 1 B - I hate the class I'm getting a B in though. I should be grateful though, she handed out midterm grade reports today and only 3 people are getting B's so far and no one has an A. Her tests really stink and she doesn't give out any other assignments really so if you don't do well on the tests you're screwed. And all she does in class is read from the stupid book and play with her powerpoint prjector. drives me insane to be there. I can stay home and read the book and save myself some time.

Kids - Ashlyn has turned into a monster lately. She seems to be very angry these days and I can't figure out exactly why. If she doesn't get what she wants she gets really mad and I don't know how to help her. She can't always get her way but these tantrums are way too much for me. And I feel bad for Ryan because that's who she takes it out on when she's really mad at me for telling her no. Hopefully it's a stage she'll grow out of soon.

Ryan on the other hand is doing much better. we have gotten his school troubles under control and he is doing great. Although the pre-teen boy stuff is starting to invade our house. He came home Tuesday with a note from a girl. It was really cute. It just said, "Ryan you are awesome. Love ya, Erin" but he is so cute. He asked me what to do because he really likes her. I am so not ready for this whole boy/girl stuff. I think he is way too young but from what everyone tells me I better get ready fast he is almost 12 and all the men in my life (Husband/brothes/guy friends) keep telling me they were definitley doing stuff at 12 (not sex, but touching boobies and kissing apparently). I just wonder with who, because the girls I knew weren't doing stuff when we were 12, most of us didnt even have boobs at 12. Oh well, ready or not there he goes, growing up when I specifically told him to stop. Never did listen real well to Mommy.

Other than that - The kids have decided on their halloween costumes. Ashlyn is going to be a Christmas present and Ryan is going to be a soldier. He is going to wear Tyani's Air Force camoflague. He looks so cute in it.

They are also writing their letters to Santa already. I can't believe it is already the end of October. I better start shopping. It will be here soon. I already have a few things ordered for Ashlyn but that's it so far. I am usually almost done by now. Just can't find the time this year.

Okay that's probably enough for now. Sorry to bore you all if you made it this far. I really am enjoying this blogging though. I have started printing out my entries and using it as a journal. Maybe oneday when I'm gone, someone might be interested in what I thought once upon a time.

Awesome Day at School!

2007-10-23T19:31:00.000-04:00

Well today I think was my most favorite day at school so far. I didn't really feel like going today because I was so tired this morning.

Anyway, while I was waiting for my 1st class to start this guy, I don't even know his name but he says hi to me every morning as he passes by, well he actually stopped to talk to me this morning and asked me if I wanted to go and hang out with him in the sudent lounge between my classes. I told him my husband probably wouldn't like that. But honestly it really was so nice to be noticed. He was really cute too and at least 10yrs younger than me although to admit that makes me feel old.

And the best news was my test in Reading & Writing Methods - I got 105!! I am so proud of myself, it was a really hard test, nothing but memorization and alot of it. I am just glad to know my brain still works after all these years :)

where has the time gone??

2007-10-22T14:00:00.000-04:00

wow, can't believe it has been over a week since I last posted. Things here were a little better last week. Ashlyn's soccer is almost over so that will help a little.

We had a pretty good weekend Saturday we went to a corn maze with all the kids. It was alot of fun even though my team lost playing capture the flag :(

here's some pics of the kids from Saturday.

on another note, it is still weird to me how accurate these horoscopes are. Today's horoscope was right on the money but that's a story for another day :)

Monday, October 22, 2007
Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)
Your daily routine may be disturbed today by an unavoidable emotional drama. You are pulled one way then another and it's hard to tell what's really happening. Forget about attempting to use your common sense, for this is an irrational time and can be quite exciting if you don't get too stuck on being so serious.

Exhaustion Is Setting In

2007-10-13T17:55:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm not sure how much longer I can do this. With school, work, homework (mine & the kids), soccer, dance, misc errands that seem to come up every day and housework I am finding it hard to find time to sleep. I am completely exhausted most days. Last night I freaked out on Duane because he wanted to know why I didn't make dinner before I went to dance. I had just come in at 7:45pm from 4 1/2 hrs at dance class and he had been home for at least 2hrs and I only had 2hrs sleep yesterday because I had to get up and go get his paycheck since he didn't go to work thurs. and get it to the bank by 2:00 and also get the dishes done & some laundry clean before I picked up Ashlyn at 3:00 or we would have all been naked today. I look back now and know that the yelling was so not necessary but he just doesn't seem to understand that I need some help now that I'm at school most days and don't sleep at all 3 nights a week. He doesn't seem to realize that even though I'm home during the day I am suppossed to be sleeping and I can't do everything and sleep at the same time. But at the same time he gets really mad at me when I tell him I didn't sleep because I had to get something done. He tells me sleep is more important.

It has also come to my attention this week that Ryan has only been doing parts of his homework so now I have to spend extra time making sure that gets done. He wasn't writing it down and I was believing him when he told me that was all he had to do. So now to add to the fact that I can't keep up with everything I'm suppossed to I feel like a horrible mom who hasn't been paying attention to her kid :(

well, now that i reread that i'm not even sure it makes any sense but my brain doesn't think in coherent sentences anymore so thanks for reading if you made it this far :)

Question??

2007-10-11T06:11:00.001-04:00

Parenting Question of the Day - How do you stop a child from reading too much?

Yes, that really is my problem. I emailed Ryan's teachers a few days ago to see how Ryan is doing since I don't get a chance to see them now that he is in the jr. high and doesn't want me hanging around school. Anyway 2 of his 3 main teachers have replied back so far and while the reports were not horrible, they both stated that he reads too much in class instead of doing the work he is suppossed to. He is getting his work done most of the time but he seems to rush through so he can read. The teachers say he is getting B's but that they are sure he could do better if he took his time. I love that he loves to read and don't want to discourage him but he needs to learn there is a time & place for that and his school work is more important then his leisure reading. I am hoping the discussion we had will solve the problem but we even have this problem at bedtime and have for a long time.We just didn't realize it carried over into school and we haven't been able to stop it at home. He really has trouble putting a book down once he starts it.

My New Tattoo

2007-10-07T11:40:00.000-04:00

I did it!! Duane and I both got new tattoos last night. We both got lobsters because he is my lobster and I am his. Explanation: Many years ago on the tv show Friends, Phoebe told Ross that he was Rachels lobster because lobsters mate for life. Ever since then we have called each other "our lobster".

Here's mine, it is on the top of my right foot:

Here's Duane's on his right calf:

Happy Birthday to ME!!

2007-10-04T23:06:00.000-04:00

Well, today was my birthday, I turned 33. Nothing really special. I had to go to school this morning, I worked last night so I tried to sleep till the kids got home, then Ryan had soccer practice. Duane did actually go out and buy cupcakes and ice cream. That was sweet, in the 12 yrs we have been married I have never had cake on my actual birthday unless my mom supplied it. It was nice he went and did that, guess he realized I wasn't to happy about getting older. I have been moping about it all week.

The only reason I really like birthdays is that I usually get to talk to my siblings. And this year every one of them remembered to call so that was cool, only downside to that is there are so many of them I spent most of the day on the phone, but I'm not complaining, I miss them all so much. Also, my friends at this website I stalk also remembered me and that was cool too. Definitely helped make a sad day a little brighter.

Hopefully I can get out of this mood I've been in all week. I have just been feeling really out of it and I can't figure out why. I know some of it is this getting older stuff which is stupid, I should just deal with it, since it's not like I can do anything about it. Oh well, my fix - I "plan" on Saturday to go get me another tattoo. I am pretty excited. Hopefully I won't chicken out :)

October Already??

2007-10-01T08:08:00.000-04:00

Wow, I can't believe it is already October. The year is really flying by. Not much going on around here. Ryan finally got to have his 1st soccer game this weekend. He did great, he was very excited they won since his team did not win 1 game last year.

After the game I took the kids to the county fair. They had such a great time. I was really proud of Ryan, he was very creful not to lose his sister and made sure she was always buckled in well when they got on the rides. As much as they seem to be fighting lately it was really nice to see him take care of her and be so protective. Guess they really do love each other. Here's some pics from there. I still can't believe either of them went on the super shot. They are definitely much braver than me.

Super Shot:

Ryan & Ashlyn:

Ready for a Break

2007-09-25T13:41:00.000-04:00

Things here have been going really well, school is awesome I am doing really well, which kind of surprises me but I'm really excited about it, I was very afraid I would do horrible, very glad I am not.

Kids are doing good, Ryan is still waiting for his 1st soccer game, they got rained out the other day and now he has to wait till Saturday. Ashlyn is still flipping out on the field but since it doesn't seem to bother her coach I guess I won't worry about it :)

Last Friday, as you Scraptowners know, I went to Raleigh to meet Rosemary and her husband Chris, who came over from England. That was so much fun, I had a great time with all the ladies and it was great to meet them.

Other than that just trying to keep up, I have 6th grade parent meetings on Thursday with Ryan's teachers to talk about how they are doing so far plus another meeting for AG parents to let us know what is expected from the kids this year. You would think they would have had that meeting weeks ago. It seems they always have these things on Thrusday nights which is the worst for me with work and sleep. Homework is starting to get crazy too. I didn't have much until this week, seems like all my teachers have decided this was a good time to start handing it out :( I am counting the days till Oct 8/9 I get 2 days off from school and the kids don't :) Is that horrible?

Ashlyn's 1st Soccer Game

2007-09-18T23:31:00.000-04:00

Ashlyn had her 1st soccer game of the year on Saturday. Just thought I'd share some pics with you. They did great, her team won 3-0 but Ashlyn spent more time doing cartwheels and flips out on the field than she did playing soccer. She had lots of fun though :)

actually playing soccer:

mid-flip :

this is how she spent most of her 5 minutes as Goalie :)

Another week flies by...

2007-09-13T23:19:00.000-04:00

Well, it's been a rough week. Been very busy with all the regular stuff and since I'm horrible at telling anyone no, I ended up working at my husbands office some this week too answering phones since their regular secretary had a family emergency. Duane has actually been a great help this week but I am quite frankly exhausted, i figure I've only slept about 10 hours since I got up tuesday morning, my house looks like a bomb exploded inside it, we are just about out of clean laundry and I have lots of homework to do. At this point i'm trying to figure if it's all worth it.

On the bright side, school is good, I got the score for my 1st test today, I was a little scared since I finished very quickly and everyone else seemed to be taking a long time, but I got a 94, it turns out i got the higest grade in the class!! Kind of sad that's the highlight of my life these days.

Other than that we went to the festival last weekend and had a great time, but I forgot my camera so no pictures which makes me mad because at the street dance Friday night the singer of the band brought Ashlyn & her friend Abbie up on the stage to dance with her. They were so cute.

Hi There!

2007-09-07T00:00:00.001-04:00

Wow, can't believe a whole week has gone by and nothing to post. Things here have been really busy around here. School is going really good for both me and the kids.

We had grade level meetings at Ashlyn's school last night and quite frankly I am surprised at some of the things they plan to teach her this year. At one point while talking about math her teacher said they were going to be learning about line plots and shows us an example on the board and to my surprise it was exactly what Ryan brought home on his math test yesterday. Granted it does seem pretty simple but if they are testing 6th graders on this I am surprised they are teaching it to 1st graders. Alot of the things she talked about teaching this year are things Ryan didn't even get to until 2nd grade. Guess it will be an interesting year. Let the homework begin :)

Ryan seems to be really liking school also, he says the work is pretty easy so far, hopefully we will have a good year. It is weird for me this year with him at the junior high since I don't really know the school and teachers. I feel kind of lost about how things are done. Guess I will figure that all out in time.

My school is going well too. One of my classes drives me completely insane since all the teacher does is read to us from the book, quite frankly I can save my time and do that at home, so I hate going to that class. But I am totally loving my Philosophy class, we are discussing the existance of God right now and it is very interesting. We started this by reading Bertrand Russell's "Why I Am Not a Christian" and I was very surprised by a lot of what I read. Definitely left me rethinking what I have been taught all my life. But I will leave that for another post.

Anyway today is my day off from almost everything, we only have to go to dance class, then the town I live in is having their annual festival this weekend and tonight night is the street dance so the kids are really excited about that and then Saturday is the actual festival complete with fireworks that evening, so a busy weekend for us.

Tough As Nails

2007-08-31T12:38:00.000-04:00

Just wanted to share a few pictures of my baby with her 1st black eye. She was at soccer practice last night and there was a collision and she got hit in the face with someone else's head. I was so proud of her she cried for a few minutes, it was starting to swell real fast and i figured we were done for the night so I was packing up her stuff but then she ran right back out on the field to finish practice. She is only 1 of 2 girls on the team and all the other mom's were surprised she went back out there too and starting clapping for her (I think she loved that). A few of them told me their sons would probably still be crying about it. That made me smile a little :)

Can't wait to see her in her dance outfit this afternoon, my beautful ballerina with a black eye, that'll make a good picture :)

last night after we got home:

this morning:

And They're Off...

2007-08-27T12:54:00.000-04:00

Well, today was the 1st day of school for the kids. Ryan was very excited, he was up and dressed before the alarm went off. I let him walk by himself to school today, It is only 4 blocks away, but his mamma is very overprotective so it was huge for me to allow this. I am assuming he made it there fine.

I drove Ashlyn today, she was excited this morning but when we got there she didn't want me to leave the classroom. I think she was nervous about being there alone. All weekend she kept complaining that Ryan won't be in her school this year. No call from the teacher yet so she must be fine.

Other than that, both kids ahve soccer practice tonight Ashlyn is excited about that since this is her 1st one. I am just glad that it is on the same night as Ryan's practice :)

So the chaos is in full swing, my school, kids school, soccer, dance, homework, my job plus all the regular housework that needs to get done, oh yeah I'm suppossed to sleep once in a while too. Hopefully I can find time to do it all.

(Tracy, if you're reading this you may need to give me some tips on how you manage it. I am always in awe of how you handle 3 kids plus all their activities and the kids you babysit :) )

And the Countdown Begins..

2007-08-24T04:44:00.000-04:00

Last night we went to Open House for the kids schools. They are both pretty excited, Ashlyn has a couple of friends in her class so she is feeling better about going back although she did seem a little upset that Ryan is not going to be at her school anymore. But I really like her teacher and her Asst teacher was Ryan's in Kindergarten and I really liked her, so I am happy.

Ryan couldn't be more excited to be going to the junior high. He was so happy to see all his friends, although his best friend Will, is not in his class this year. This is the 1st year they have ever been seperated, they have been in the same class since kindergarten. Although, Will is a nice boy, I am kind of glad they will be split up, they tend to get each other in trouble alot. Two elementary schools combine at the middle school so there are a whole lot of new kids and the funniest part to me was Ryan noticing all the new girls. He mentioned on the way home that he hoped he could get one of the "pretty new girls" to be his girlfriend. I had to laugh, but I am not ready for any of that. I guess my little boy really is growing up.

So now the countdown begins... 3 days left till the we start the new school year :)

Ryan's Very Lucky Day

2007-08-22T18:50:00.001-04:00

So if you recall,several weeks ago Ryan lost his wallet, His Nintendo DS and I washed his ipod all in one week. Well, after the ipod dried out it did work again, but after cleaning the everything I could think of no luck with the wallet or the Nintendo.

Well, this morning was recycle day. Apparently it was lucky I forgot last week and instead of dumping out the newspapers myself into the bucket like I usually do I made Ryan do it. He put the papers in the bucket one by one instead of just dumping the pile, and much to our surprise in between the newspapers was his wallet full of cash, I could not believe it. I cringe at the thought of how close it was to being thrown away. This stroke of luck caused me to search again for the ninentdo a little but still nothing.

Then this evening, Ryan in his excitement for open house at school tomorrow starts playing with his new bookbag for school, and yes there in one of the pockets was his Nintendo. I never thought to look there at all and apparently he completely forgot he ever put it in there.

I can't believe after looking for these things for weeks and I pretty much had assumed they were long gone, they both show up in the same day. What are the odds?Too bad he's not old enough to play the lottery :)

Day 2

2007-08-21T15:55:00.000-04:00

Well today is day 2 of school and i am exhausted. Classes are going well, but the running around is another story. I am hoping that when the kids start school on Monday it won't be so bad since I won't have to drive them anywhere. The real test though will be the next few days since I have to work tonight - thursday night and have classes every day but friday. At least I know I will have at least 6hrs uninterrupted homework time while I'm there :)

Nothing else is going on here. Ryan started soccer yesterday and unfortunately he will have practice twice a week. I haven't heard from Ashlyn's coach yet but hopefully she will have practice on at least one of the same days he does.

Let the Chaos Begin!

2007-08-17T18:47:00.000-04:00

Well today was the offical start of our fall schedule. Ashlyn started dance today, Ryan starts soccer and I start school on Monday, then 1 more week till the kids go back to school, and I am sure I will hear from Ashlyn's soccer coach any day now.

Dance was great today, Ashlyn was so excited. I was a little nervous since this is her 1st year in Company and I didn't really know what to expect, but I think I'm going to love it. 1st there are only 4 girls in her class so she will get lots of one on one time and my favorite part, if I understood Tammy correctly, is that even though she takes 3 classes they will only have a costume for tap, the other 2 classes are strictly for learning the basics and they do not do routines for thoses. It was neat though to see that they started learning their tap routine on the very 1st day since they will do that in competition.

So here's to a good start and hopefully I will be able to do all this and stay sane at the same time.

Had a Blast!

2007-08-16T00:43:00.000-04:00

Well, I left last Friday to go to my sister's houose in Delaware for 2 of my neices birthdays. Ally turned 6 and Amanda turned 16. We had such an awesome time. Ally had a sleepover with her friends Friday night and Amanda had a campout at the beach with her friends on Monday night. The beach was awesome, they have wild ponies that roam the beach there and that was pretty cool, a little scary since the signs say they will kick and bite, but it was cool to watch them. Then we made a fire on the beach and just hung out it was very cool, I had never camped on the beach before and I loved it. Now, how do I talk Duane into trying it :)

well, here's some photos from my weekend, I don't seem to have managed a picture of Ryan at all but he wasn't around much, kept wandering off :)

Amanda & Ally

the ponies

Ashlyn & Ally

My sister Brenda & my brother Jay

I've Been Tagged!

2007-08-16T00:27:00.000-04:00

Last week Tracy tagged me and I never got the chance to post so here goes:

7 things most people don't know about me

1. I am #5 of 7 children - 5 boys, 2 girls
2. I am the godmother to all 4 of my sister's girls
3. One of my bestest friends died when I was 15
4. I miss my sister every day and wished she lived closer
5. I talk on the phone alot
6. My husband never asked me to marry him
7. I hate having birthdays and getting older (Yes, I am having a mini mid-life crisis at 32)

I'm Gonna Kill Him!!

2007-08-07T16:10:00.000-04:00

Ughhh, I am so angry right now and quite frankly Ryan is very lucky that he is not home at the moment.

1) Last week Ryan comes up and asks me if I have seen his wallet and tells me he lost it, I ask him if it had all his money in it because several days earlier I told him to take some out. He had around $30 and I don't think an 11 yr old needs to have that much money on him, well he didn't take the money out so now it is all missing.

2) On Sunday I washed some of his baseball cards and he got upset and we had a huge conversation about how it is his job to empty his pockets not mine (this will be important when I get to #4)

3) yesterday he comes to me and lets me know that he has now misplaced his brand new Nintendo DS that we bought him for graduation. When I tell him to go look for it he says, "well I would have found it when I looked for my wallet if it was here." Quite frankly I didn't think he looked all too hard for his wallet anyway. Ashlyn keeps lending him all her money so he doesn't care.

4) the topper is today, i am doing laundry and when I take the clothes out of the wash I find his Ipod. I called him at my mother's and he really doesn't seem to care at all. He asked if it still worked and when i said no he was like oh well.

This boy has literally lost everything of any value that he owns in 1 week and he doesn't care even one little bit. I have no idea how to even handle this or know where to begin. His father knows about the wallet but I know when I tell him about the DS & the Ipod he is gonna flip a shit. He really needs to learn a lesson from this but I am at a complete loss, I really just want to strat screaming and yelling. HELP!!

Now that I'm done ranting, I want to wish my niece Amanda a Happy 16th Birthday!! It is so hard for me to believe she is 16 already, I was only 16 when she was born, my how time flies :)

I'm Back!

2007-08-06T16:54:00.000-04:00

Okay, I didn't really go anywhere. The hard drive on my computer crashed last week and I was too lazy all weekend to open the laptop so I had a computer free weekend. It was actually quite enjoyable and I think the kids enjoyed having more of my attention (when I wasn't yelling at them ;) ) I even got to read 2 whole books. Nothing really exciting has been going on over here. It is hot and nasty out so we are just trying to keep cool.

Tomorrow my mom is going to take my kids for a couple of days, they are pretty excited, she only lives in the next town but they don't get alot of one on one time with her, all the other cousins are usually there when we are, so this will be nice for them.

We are also leaving on Friday to go to Maryland, my niece Amanda is turning 16 tomorrow and she is having a campout at the beach on Monday with her friends. I promised her I wouldn't miss it so I will be there until Tues or Wed. of next week.

Choices

2007-08-01T00:05:00.000-04:00

I had a discussion with Ashlyn yesterday about making choices and the difference between a good choice and a bad choice and while sometimes the bad choice is alot more fun you should not pick that if you KNOW that it is bad even if you really want to do it anyway. And then if you choose the bad choice you must own up to it and be prepared to accept the consequences of your choice. Well, she's 6 so I don't know if she completely understood me but it just got me thinking, i know how she feels, it's so hard to make the good choice when the bad choice is so appealing.

anyway, here's today's horoscope, I think I may take the day to hide & keep to myself :)

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)

Pay attention to what you say today, for your words carry more emotional weight than you intend, even if you try to couch your feelings in vague meanderings. Deeply rooted issues can come dangerously close to the surface and interrupt your life. Although the resulting disruption could turn into a bothersome problem, it can be an important step to resolving the underlying issue.

I also want to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my beautiful niece Ally, she's 6 today!! I love you sweetie!!

Ally & Ashlyn

I Did It!

2007-07-30T10:49:00.000-04:00

Okay, this morning I registered for classes at the college, all signed up and paid for so I guess I HAVE to go now. I start school in 3 weeks. I am really nervous about going back and it's funny to me that the kids are so excited because I can do homework with them now. I just hope I can keep up, I will have 5 classes and my mind is definitely not what it used to be and even before it wasn't all that great. I am also a little worried about the craziness to come, with school, work, the kids and just the regular house stuff to keep up with things are definitely going to be hectic around here for the next few years.

Just Another Day

2007-07-27T00:14:00.000-04:00

Friday, July 27, 2007
Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)
Hard work at home is good medicine for your soul, even if it seems like others are having more fun than you. Enjoyment is still a step or two away for you. There are things to be done and you know that you're the one who must do them. Examine the feelings that come up while you are being more responsible than you want to be.

well, this horoscope sounds like no fun at all :( Not liking the being responsible part, I have been trying to avoid that at all costs lately.

Anyway, nothing really going on for us today, got to take Ryan to the office to go see Duane's boss, she missed him too and we will stop by mom's church to check out their dollar sale but that's it for me today, guess I should do some stuff at home like my horoscope says too but I don't really want to :(

Today's Horoscope

2007-07-26T05:19:00.000-04:00

Okay, I have decided to start watching my horoscope more closely (promise I won't post them every day, just when I think they are interestng :) ) since I have realized more often than not when I do check it that it seems to relate very closely to what is going on in my life at the moment. So here is today's, I can definitely see some truth in there but not completely, guess we'll have to see what secrets the day brings. Never know what i may learn today :)

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)

You could be stressing about what to say and what to keep secret. Your fantasies have been more active than usual, but don't tell everyone what's going on behind your gracious smile and charming eyes. There are some things better left unsaid. For now, discretion may really be the better part of valor.

Obsessions

2007-07-25T01:02:00.000-04:00

Question - How do you stop wanting something that you want badly but know you can't have? You've had a taste of it, loved it, and are now being told no more. I know that it is in my best interest to stop but it is soooo hard to not want it all the time. Sometimes life sucks.

On that note, I am trying to cut back on my Pepsi intake, the potato chips, ice cream, all the crap I eat on a daily basis. I found out last week that a friend of mine from high school died, no one I have talked to has been able to find out the exact cause of death which is weird, but it has just got me thinking. I don't want to die at 32. I have such a unhealthy life style and I guess it is time to change that. So I start with my food and I figure exercise is next, I better start doing some since I do pretty much do none at all right now.

I am having a hard time though wanting the things I shouldn't have, it has turned into an outright obsession with some things. The more I tell myself I can't have it, the more I want it. My brain knows it is not the right thing to do, to just stay away but I know it's there and I can't help myself. I was doing really good with this last week, but I caved today. How do you do this when what you want it staring you in the face?

HE'S HOME!!!!!

2007-07-23T20:20:00.001-04:00

My Baby is back!!! I went and picked up Ryan today. His grandmother met me in Pennsylvania. It was a very long day. 12 hours in the car but I am so happy to have him back. Although it only took about 1 hour for him and Ashlyn to start bickering :( and by the time we finished the 6hr drive home I was ready to throw them both out of the car. It was such a beautiful sight to see his smiling face and it was oh so wonderful to hold him in my arms. I just wonder, if I am this bad after only 5 weeks what in the world I will do when he moves out for good. Oh well, we'll worry about that in a couple of years, right now I am just going to enjoy having my baby home.

Gone Already

2007-07-19T23:25:00.001-04:00

well, I was suppossed to get 3 weeks with her not 3 days, but Amanda went home today :( She has been looking for a job all summer and nothing but after only 2 days here she got several call backs for interviews. So she decided to go home and hopefully she will have a job soon. I will see her in August though since I promised her I would be there for her 16th birthday. She is growing up way too fast.

That's pretty much all that's going around here, only 3 more days till I go get Ryan!!!

Quiet Times

2007-07-18T01:02:00.000-04:00

Believe it or not the last few days have been quite enjoyable. The chaos of the last few weeks seems to be over and I have been able to relax and enjoy myself.

I'm not sure why but I was really starting to freak out about my life - I was missing Ryan, I was scared about going back to school in August and I was dewlling on the fact that I'm getting older and my life sometimes seems a litte boring plus a few other problems thrown in here and there to make things worse.Anyway, I have decided it is time to live a little more instead of watching life pass me by and stop worrying so much about things that are out of my control. Luckily I think Duane is starting to understand, he even took me out Saturday night and we had a great time.

Friday, July 13th, also brought about a whole new revelation about myself and at the same time gave me the insight that I think I really needed to be able to let go of some things and move on. I think I was starting to have a small mid-life crisis and a good friend gave me what I needed to move forward and he helped me realize what I already had all along. I don't know if I could ever thank him enough. It was definitely my lucky day :)

So now I await the return of Ryan with childlike excitement, the start of school with eager anticipation and the rest of my life with the knowledge that I am where I want to be and exactly where I belong.

One More Week!!

2007-07-16T08:45:00.000-04:00

Ryan is coming home on Monday July 23rd!! You cannot imagine how excited I am.

Other than that, yesterday I drove to Virginia to drop of Melissa & Ally and their older sister Amanda had come with their mom to pick them up and some how I ended up bringing her with home with me. She literally came with just the clothes on her back since this wasn't planned so that meant a shopping trip last night. I am glad to have her though, she is almost 16 and that means in a few years she will be grown and this is probably the last summer she will come see me. She is my 1st little girl, I was only 16 when she was born and spent almost every day of the 1st 2yrs of her life with her, she is as much my little girl as my own are. So I am grateful that I will get to have her for the next 3 weeks.

Stop the Insanity

2007-07-12T00:56:00.000-04:00

okay, just need to vent a little. I am at work right now and they opened the bar back up this week and tonight I have been subjected to some very bad kareoke for the past 2 hours and it is getting worse as the customers get drunker. I don't think 2am will come fast enough.

Other than that, I had a pretty good day today. Didn't really do anything but hang out with the girls and take the cats to the vet. But just doing nothing and relaxing helped me feel alot better today. Also, I talked to Ryan this afternoon and we are now making plans to bring him home!!!! I still have to wait at least another week or 2 but I am still excited just to know that we are working on it. I could never have imagined I would miss him this much. I cannot wait to get my arms around him.

I Need A Break

2007-07-10T14:12:00.000-04:00

Today is just one of those days when I just want to hide. It was supposed to be a good day, I had planned to do something that I have really wanted to do for a long time this morning, but then I didn't feel good this morning and woke up late and that was the end of that. My mom did take all the girls for a little while so that was nice but I just really need a break from all the stress in my life. A day where I can just be alone and not have to deal with anyone but myself. My brain is on overload and I just don't even know how much more I can handle. Although 1 problem did manage to solve itself today and that was a huge relief and hopefully that will help me relax and stop worrying and that will take down a few others with it. I am really ready for summer to be over, for school to start and life get back into its normal rhythm. I don't like chaos, I just have a hard time coping.

and this horoscope thing is really starting to freak me out. I never really followed them until recently and it is so weird how accurate they are to my life.

here's today's:

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)

It can be too intense for you today if you get into a serious disagreement with anyone. You are on edge now and can get annoyed by things that you'd normally just let pass. But you can get yourself hooked and before you know it find yourself fighting for survival like a fish on the line. Remember, the more you struggle, the harder it will be to get free.

He Won't Come Home

2007-07-08T11:55:00.000-04:00

well, it has been 3 weeks today since we dropped Ryan off with his Grandparents and he still doesn't want to come home. In fact he hasn't even called since Thursday. He is having such a great time and I know this is a wonderful experience for him but it is slowly breaking my heart. I miss him more than I could have imagined and I want him back.

But in the meantime to keep my mind off him I brought in replacements. I went on Friday to pick up 2 of my sisters girls, Melissa (14) and Ally (5)to come and spend the week with us. Ashlyn is in heaven with Ally here, they are "bestest, bestest, bestest friends" She seems to have totally forgotten that she is missing Ryan which is good because she was driving me crazy last week whining about him.

creepy

2007-07-04T23:23:00.000-04:00

sometimes I think it is creepy how close horoscopes relate to my life and just really make sense. When I read the one for today, it just couldn't be more right for how I'm feeling these days.

my horoscope for today:

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)

You don't like emotional uncertainty, although you don't mind your own ambivalence. You just don't like it when it comes from someone else. You may be feeling a bit miffed now because you cannot get a handle on what is going on. Don't stress about what to do; instead focus on how you feel. Stay connected with your heart, no matter what comes into awareness.

Truth Be Told

2007-06-29T07:44:00.000-04:00

well, I don't know if any of you Scraptowners will see this but if you do I hope you know I will miss reading your stories and sharing your lives and i'm sorry for all the drama. Although I never actually posted on any of the threads regarding this matter, so I am not completely sure why I was banned, I guess guilt by association, I chose the right friends. The only thing I can see I did wrong was allow Tyani to use my screen name to let you all know that Jennifer was only allowing posts she approved of on the board. (for those who didn't know before the banning Jennifer set it so all of Tyani's post had to be approved by her 1st) I didn't think that kind of censoring was fair and it was inappropriate. Most of you didn't see Tyani's post under my name since Jennifer deleted it immediately but Tyani never used any foul language, never called Jennifer any names, she just voiced her opinion (which I thought we were allowed to do)apparently not. As far as Glenda goes all she did was tell her side of the swap story, no name calling or foul language there either.

I will not change to please her but I will miss you all :) I hope you come back here to visit often and I will check in on all of you who have blogs of your own.

Check This Out!!

2007-06-28T04:35:00.001-04:00

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Oh the Drama!!

2007-06-28T03:49:00.000-04:00

What a week!! My life is usually pretty boring, not much going on just being mom but this week it seems that the drama has been surrounding me on all sides but not exactly touching me if that makes any sense. Most of the drama does not actually involve me and I'm not going to get into details about those because quite frankly most of them are unimportant in whole scheme of things but this is one of those weeks when I wish that maybe my quiet boring life would reappear.I guess it is just all happening at once and overwhelming me since usually nothing goes on here but I definitely could just use some time to think, to process, to understand.

The return of Stacey has with it brought to my attention some things I didn't even realize about myself, I am having a hard time trying to figure these things out. How could someone else know me better than myself? is that really possible? am I in denial about who I really am versus who I think I am or who I WANT to be? Can a person really change who they are or do they just become who others want them to be but remain the same at the core? I had forgotten so many things, she has reminded me of who I used to be and I part of me wants to be that girl again. Unfortunatly that would probably not work well with the life I have now. The life I DO love & enjoy. I guess this is one of those grass is greener situations.

I Found Stacey!!

2007-06-27T00:31:00.000-04:00

you may remember back in March I was having trouble locating my best friend from high school. Well, I FOUND HER!! we talked today and it was so great to hear her voice. We talked for about an hour and I hated that I had to go but will most definitely call her again SOON!! Lesson learned on letting life get in the way, make time even if it's just for a few minutes to check in and say hi. If you don't before u know it months have passed I got lucky it wan't years :)

I think it was fate I found her number when I did, I really needed to talk to her, she is one of those people who I know I can talk about things I can't talk to just anyone about. She is the one who knows me better than anyone,i trust her with all my secrets & fears, all my hopes & dreams.I know she will give advice without passing judgment. I wasn't wrong about her. It was amazing to me that after just a few minutes it was like no time had passed at all and we were back to giving advice and squealing like teenagers. It has been 3 yrs since I have seen her, I think it is time to start planning a trip to NJ. TIME TO GO HOME :)

Awesome Night!!

2007-06-25T08:43:00.001-04:00

Saturday night Tyani, Jay, Josh & I all went out to Fast Eddie's for a few drinks and to play pool. We had such an awesome time. I hardly ever get to go out like that so it was a treat for me and I can't wait to do it again!! Maybe next time Duane will come too :)

Quiet Week

2007-06-22T00:41:00.000-04:00

not much going on here this week. Ryan did call Mon, Tues & Wed. He is having such a great time. They spent Monday at his cousins house, Tues & wed they were up at the camp he went fishing & kayaking. It is really good to hear from him. i still miss him terribly but it is great to know he is having so much fun. That really is what I want for him :)

Ashlyn and I have not been doing too much, went swimming at Tyani's on Tues, library on Wed. Ashlyn is reading so good, I am so proud of her. We have also been getting a head start on learning her addition facts since Ryan had such a hard time remembering them but I do not think it will be a problem for her. We have only been doing it a couple days and she is doing great. Now we just need to work on her penmanship and she will be ready to start 1st grade. Luckily she actually likes it when we do "school work" she thinks it is fun and we are "playing school" hey whatever works right:)

Missing Ryan

2007-06-18T10:14:00.001-04:00

Yesterday we went to Pennsylvania and dropped Ryan off with his grandparents for the summer. It was very hard for me to do, especially not knowing when exactly he is coming home. He was so excited though and I AM happy for him. I know he will have experiences there that we could never teach him here just because of the different environments we live in. I also know that it is good for him to spend time with Duane's family. he is always with my family and it will be good that he gets to know them, they are his family too. That being said he is my baby and we have NEVER been apart this long ever. I was very brave while he was with us because I didn't want him to feel bad. I know he really wanted to go, but it took less than 5 min after driving away for the tears to come, i was a bit surprised myself, I haven't cried liked that in a long time. I really didn't expect to be that upset. Duane of course thought it was hysterical that I was so upset. He just doesn't get it.
Anyway, I am impatiently waiting for him to call, he didn't call last night but I am not going to be a pest and call him, even though I really want to. I told him to call when he got the chance. I guess it is time to just let go a little and give him room to grow. But man it sure hurts.

It's A....

2007-06-15T18:57:00.000-04:00

KITTEN!!! we are not sure yet if it's a boy or a girl but it sure is cute!! It's name is Stripes and we got him from Jay's house. He is related to our other cat Blue which is real cool, since we now own 2 cats with no tails :)

Blog Builder - Question #10

2007-06-14T01:21:00.000-04:00

10. What is something you wish you never had to worry about again?

this is too easy, definitely money. then we could do what we want when we want and not have to worry about whether we have enough extra that month. How nice would that be :)

Blog Builder - Question #9

2007-06-13T23:45:00.000-04:00

9. What superhero powers would you like to have?

I would like to be able to be in 2 places at one time. That would definitely make life alot easier

Summer's Here!!

2007-06-12T23:36:00.000-04:00

Today we took our 1st trip to the beach, so I think it is safe to say that summer's here!! We had such a great time. Tyani, Kyle, Cole, Paige & Ayden came with us. Only bad part was that Ayden definately got cranky for a little bit, so note to self is don't bring a 2 yr old next time :) Although after lunch he did decide to have fun and went in the water so the day turned out pretty good after all. Ryan and Ashlyn had gotten body boards for easter this year and it was their 1st chance to use them and they absolutely loved them. We also saw a school of dolphins (there was about 8 of them) and they hung around for a little while. That was really cool, unfortunately I didn't get a good picture of them, they were too fast coming up out of the water and never stayed up long enough to get a picture.

Can't wait for the next trip. I am definately gonna try and make a habit out of going there this year, it is really not that far and we had an awesome time :)

Pool Pictures

2007-06-12T23:30:00.001-04:00

here's the pics I promised from Sunday at Tyani's

Blog Builder - Question #8

2007-06-12T19:05:00.000-04:00

8. What is something you'd like to do that you're not allowed?

i would have to say just leave and go wherever I want whenever I want. too many responsibilities to other people means having to makes plans to do things and sometimes I wish I could just up and go and not make sure it works for everyone else's schedule.

Blog Builder - Question #7

2007-06-11T17:19:00.000-04:00

7. If you had an extra day each month that no one else had, what would you do with it?

I would probably just take it to rest and relax, just sit at home and read or scrap all by myself :)

Pool Party!!

2007-06-10T19:38:00.000-04:00

We had a great day today. Went to mom's for dinner. Tyani & Jay got a pool this week, so after dinner we all went over there and the kids played in the pool. They had such a great time. Ashlyn swam so hard she barely made it home, was just about asleep when we pulled in the driveway. I took a ton of pictures I will post some later.

Blog Builder - Question #6

2007-06-10T19:34:00.000-04:00

6. What are three things you need in order to be happy?

this is way to easy for me to answer:

1. My family (husband, kids, siblings & mom)
2. My computer
3. A Pepsi

Blog Builder - Question #5

2007-06-09T11:08:00.000-04:00

5. What is something you feel too young to do?

Sometimes I definitely feel to young to have an 11yr old. It amazes me that I am really as old as I am sometimes. It feels like I just finished high school not 14 yrs ago and I can't believe how fast the years have flown by. Especially when I am hanging out with my siblings. We all still act like teenagers when we are together and not a bunch of 30 somethings.

As far as things I haven't done yet. I can't really think of anything at the moment except die & have grandchildren which luckily I don't think is a problem right now :)

Blog Builder - Question #4

2007-06-08T06:14:00.000-04:00

4. What are the secrets to a longer, healthier life?

I guess if I really had the answer to that I could be rich :)

My guess is to eat healthy, exercise and I think most importantly you need to be happy. Surround yourself with people you love and people who love you. avoid stress as much as possible and just enjoy life.

Graduation Day

2007-06-08T00:20:00.000-04:00

Yesterday both my babies had graduation. Ryan graduated from the 5th grade. I cannot believe he will be going to middle school. I did not think I would be so emotional but when I heard the graduation song I started crying. I am not really ready to start letting go. This is a poem that their principal read at both graduations. Needless to say this made me cry too.

Children are like kites
Parents spend a lifetime trying to get them off the ground
you run with them until you are both breathless
they crash
they hit the rooftop
you patch and comfort, adjust and teach
you watch them lifted by the wind and assure them that someday they will fly
finally they are airborne
they'll need more string and you keep letting it out
but with each twist of the ball of twine there is sadness that goes with the joy
the kite becomes more distant and you know it won't be long
before that beautiful creature will snap the lifeline that binds you together
and will soar as is meant to soar
free and alone
only then you know you have done your job

My little Ashlyn graduated from Kindergarten, this not so emotional she is still my baby.

I am so very proud of them both. Ryan got awards for Honor Roll, Accelerated Reader and was recognized for his acceptance into the Duke University 5th grade talent search for students who scored in over the 90th percentile in their end of grade tests last year.

Ashlyn got awards for Homework Star, She was one of 2 who got an award for their outstanding performance in music and she was also 1 of only 4 kindergarteners who got an accelerated reader award.

now for some pictures:

WAY TO GO GUYS!! WE ARE VERY PROUD OF YOU BOTH!!!

Blog Builder - Question #3

2007-06-07T01:39:00.001-04:00

3. What three wishes would you ask of a genie in a bottle?

my wishes -

1. keep my family healthy and safe
2. move my sister closer to me
3. money, can always use more money :)

Blog Builder - Question #2

2007-06-06T00:27:00.000-04:00

2. If you could own the world's largest collection of anything, what would it be?

I don't really collect anything so since my DH already is working on getting the largest collection of these I will say Matchbox cars. My house holds more of these cars than any one person could every need in their lifetime. I couldn't even begin to give you a number but it is easily in the thousands. So, if I had the largest collection of these that would make Duane very happy and that in turn would make me happy :)

Happy Day!!!

2007-06-05T23:36:00.000-04:00

I got a new camera today!!! After Ashlyn's dress rehersal when we could clearly see what horrible pics my camera took campared to my SIL's. Duane told me I could get a new camera. I found a great deal online and it came today!! I got a canon powershot S3 IS. I am in love!! Here is a pic I took today of Ashlyn, Ayden, Paige & Ryan.

anyway other than my new camera, I am watching Paige & Ayden for Josh the next 2 weeks. We have been having a great time. It is really fun having little ones in the house again but it is definately curing me of any itch I had to want a new baby of my own. I really forgot how much work little kids are :)

Blog Challenge #6

2007-06-05T14:15:00.000-04:00

Challenge posted on Scraptown.com:
(There are 10 questions, we have to post/answer one each day)

#1. What age would you like to be for the rest of your life?

I didn't really have to think too hard about this one. I would choose 26. That year was perfect, Ashlyn was born that April and then my family was complete. I had my son & my daughter, a wonderful husband. Everything I ever wanted. Things have been almost perfect since then too :) It would be really cool though if the kids could stay those ages too. Ryan was 5 and way too cute, Ashlyn was so tiny and such a good baby. Yep, I could definitely live that way forever. Now I *almost* want another one.

Happy Birthday Duane!!

2007-06-03T20:42:00.000-04:00

today is my DH's 41st birthday :) We had a really great day. We went shopping this morning and then went and spent the afternoon at my brother's before we headed over to mom's for a wonderful turkey dinner. Happy Birthday Sweetie!! I love you :)

Almost Done

2007-06-01T02:28:00.000-04:00

Well we are down to the final week of school. I really am very excited for summer to start. We finished dance last week, tonight was Ryan's last soccer game and on Thursday will be the kids last day of school.

Other than end of the year activities nothing much has been going on around our house. Starting on Monday I get to start babysitting Paige & Ayden for Josh. It will only be for 2 weeks so it will be alot of fun having little ones in the house again. Paige will keep Ashlyn busy and Ayden is just too cute for his own good. I could gobble that little boy up :)

Recital Pictures

2007-05-23T23:11:00.000-04:00

here are a few pictures from Ashlyn's dance recital. The ballet one is my absolute favorite! ( my SIL Jennifer took these pics- Thanks Jenn!!)

The Busy Season

2007-05-23T14:12:00.000-04:00

Well things have ben really crazy here lately. Duane has been out of town all week and of course this was a busy week. Mon was Ashlyn's dress rehersal for dance and last night was the recital she did a wonderful job, I am so proud of her! We are finishing up soccer , Ryan was suppossed to start a tournament last night but luckily they moved it till next week so he didn't have to miss his game. That will be over soon and school is also winding down so alot of activies are going on over there that I want to be present for.

I will be so happy when summer arrives and we can just relax and not be so rushed. I have decided that I am not signing the kids up for any camps or anything this summer. I know Ryan will be going to upstate NY to visit his grandparents for awhile but other than that I am not making any definate plans just gonna play this summer by ear and enjoy it. The kids are getting so big am I am so tired of rushing around because we HAVE to be somewhere. I just want to relax and enjoy my time w/ them this summer.

Happy Anniversary

2007-05-14T12:53:00.000-04:00

Today is mine and Duane's 12th wedding anniversary. I sometimes cannot believe we have been together this long. It really does not seem like it. Time has gone by so quickly. I love him so much and i am so happy to be his wife. He really is a super great guy and he makes me smile and laugh all the time, he is there when I want to cry and yell. He listens to me complain. He is a wonderful father and a great friend. I definately could not ask for a better guy. I am a very lucky woman :)

Awesome Weekend!!

2007-05-14T12:49:00.001-04:00

I had a really great time this weekend. On Saturday Tyani, Jennifer and I went to an all day crop and i had a really great time. I even won some prizes!!

While I was gone Duane actually took Ashlyn to dance and Ryan to his soccer game, then they deweeded my front flower beds, bought new flowers, planted them and they even mowed the lawn. My favorite thing of all though was they painted my refrigerator :)

Mother's Day was Sunday and that was great too. Duane bought me the sewing machine I wanted and then my family came over for dinner. I had a great day.

Foods??

2007-05-07T08:03:00.000-04:00

the next blog challenge on Scraptown involves food ~ which are my favorite and my least favorite. Very hard for me to choose. I don't really like much food so I guess I will start with my favorites.

Favorite Food:

Mom's Chicken and Dumplings ~ I can really only eat them if mom makes them for some reason, she has given me her recipie several times and I just can't make them right, but when mom makes them I can eat the whole pot by myself.

Other than that my favorites are pretty normal, pizza, burgers, chicken quesadillas

My Least Favorite:

1st off I will not eat any vegetables, no seafood, nothing with strange sauces on it either. Most of my food has to be pretty plain.

The food that pops into my head first is mashed potatoes, they literally make me gag. I just can't swallow them.I don't like the mushy texture at all. My father and i would fight constantly over the fact that I would not eat these but would smush up a baked potato and eat it. Can't explain it.

I have realized now that most of my food problems are completely mental because I will smell something that smells really good, but as soon as I find out what's in it I refuse to try it and if I do decide to try it, I can never swallow it. Sometimes Duane has managed to trick me into eating things and I really like them but won't eat them after I find out what it is. Don't know how to fix that problem either though.

So Proud!!

2007-05-05T20:41:00.000-04:00

Just wanted to brag a little about Ashlyn. Today at dance class her teacher gave her a letter inviting her to join the company next year. The company is what they call the dance team for her school that goes to the different competitions. They used to have tryouts for this but they started doing it by invitation only now and Ashlyn got one!

We are not completely sure if we are going to accept he invitation yet since in order to join company you must take ballet and Ashlyn had already decided she didn't want to do ballet next year, just tap, tumble & jazz. She really wants to join though and says she wants to do it even if she has to do ballet but I need to make sure she really intends to follow through, because it will not be much fun for me if I have to drag her to class every week. we have to make a decision by the 15th though or her spot will be offered to another child.

edited to add: we did decide to go ahead and do it, so come August Ashlyn will be a part of Company!!

Bad Day

2007-05-04T15:24:00.000-04:00

okay, so today I subbed 5th grade for the 1st time. When they called last night I thought no big deal, I have a 5th grader and I have dealt w/ him & his friends before, I can do this no problem.

Well, when I told Ryan this morning which teacher I was subbing for he says " I am so sorry mom, that class is horrible" I thought he was exaggerating, I was wrong, my day started off w/ another teacher handing me a pile of discipline referral forms and saying, you will need these. In the 1st 20 minutes, I had to send a student to ISS for telling me and the tutor who was helping out no, over and over and just being outright rude to the other children. By the end of the 1st 3 hours, I gave out 3 discipline assignments for disruptive behavior and had to send 1 other student to ISS.

Luckily this teacher team teaches with another 5th grade and we got to change classes before lunch. While we were changing classes the princpal and the Asst principal showed up to pull kids from both classes for something that happened on a bus that morning and luckily took away 4 boys from my afternoon class for ISS. The children that were left were well behaved so the day was not completely horrible, but I will never subb for that teacher again :(

This is my 1st bad experience with subbing and I guess I was just really disappointed since all my other classes had gone well before.

Ashlyn's 1st Field Trip

2007-05-02T16:17:00.000-04:00

Ashlyn's class went on their 1st field trip to a strawberry farm, she was so excited and had the best time :)

I'll Never Get To...

2007-04-30T08:03:00.000-04:00

Tell my father I'm sorry and I was wrong.

Most of my life I thought my father was the meanest man alive, he was gone most of the time with his job and when he came home life was different, very different. When dad was gone, mom pretty much let us do anything, and quite frankly we did a lot of things we shouldn't have and I know that I am very lucky I made it through high school. I made some very bad choices and did some very stupid things.When dad came home he was very strict, we couldn't go anywhere, do anything. I pretty much couldn't stand him once I became a teenager.

Now as the mother of a boy getting ready to hit the teen years, I get it, I totally get it. I am so scared for Ryan that he will make bad choices and get into trouble. I know the things I did and it scares me he might do some of the same. My brothers tease me that I am very overprotective but I couldn't live with myself if anything ever happened to him. I just wonder if this was why my dad behaved as he did. He had some wild teen years from the stories I heard and he had a brother that died at a very young age because of these types of activities so I just wonder now if he was trying to protect us from the bad. Yes, he could have done a few things differently, but no one is a perfect parent, and I now think he only had the best of intentions.

I'm Back

2007-04-29T18:12:00.000-04:00

okay, I didn't really go anywhere but it was a pretty busy week so I didn't get a chance to post on here at all. On Monday I subbed @ preschool and it was Ashlyn's birthday so I spent the afternoon in her classroom. Then Ryan had soccer after school. tue, wed & thurs. I worked so that meant I slept all day and friday I subbed 4th grade at the elementary school. That was really alot of fun, the class was really good for the most part and I had a great time, I wasn't too sure how it would go since I have never subbed for any grade higher than 1st but i really enjoyed myself. Yesterday was the usual dance class and soccer game. A really cool thing that happened was I talked to one of my Scraptown friends (Marianne) on the phone. It was so cool to actually put a voice with the name and it was really like talking to an old friend :)

So that was my week, hopefully this week won't be so crazy, I really can't wait till school is out and dance & soccer are over so the kids and I can just hang out and do as we please :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASHLYN!!

2007-04-23T08:09:00.000-04:00

6 years ago.... I could never have imagined what a wonderful little person you would be. You are smart and funny and beautiful. You have such a wonderful sense of humor and you definately make each day in our house more special. Your smile brightens my world and your laughter fills my heart. I love you Ashlyn Ava. Happy 6th Birthday!!

Ashlyn's Birthday Party

2007-04-22T16:42:00.000-04:00

just a few pics from Ashlyn's party at the fun factory. It was a lot of fun and I think everyone had a great time. I didn't get as many pics as I'd have liked to but it's hard when they don't ever come out of the bouncy maze :)

Twinsicles

2007-04-22T16:36:00.000-04:00

my sister Benda, Tyani & I went shopping after Ashlyn's birthday party on Saturday and we all got the same outfit in different colors. We look pretty dorky but couldn't resist taking a pic.

Ashlyn Funny

2007-04-18T23:35:00.000-04:00

Ashlyn's birthday party is on Saturday so her friends have been calling to RSVP. Tonight a little girl from her class calls and the converstaion goes something like this:

Haleigh: My dad is going to carry me to your party.

Ashlyn: CARRY YOU, Really?

Haleigh: Yes, he said he will carry me to your party, so I can come.

Ashlyn: He's gonna CARRY YOU? all the way to my party? That's far.

At this point I have to interrupt Ashlyn and explain to her that some people say "carry" instead of "bring". Then the light bulb goes on, she finally understands this means that Haleigh is coming to her party and starts jumping up and down and squealing :) Gotta love little girls!!